By the Alliance Psychological Services Ltd
“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself: ‘I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’”
We’ve all done it. A colleague passing in the corridor asks how you are and instinctively you reply: “I’m fine”. We’re used to putting on a front and sometimes forget to say how we really feel.
Being honest about how we feel can be very difficult.
What could you do for you today?
How much time in an average day is devoted just to you? Everyday life seems to be getting busier and busier with increasing demands on our time. Whether it’s work, childcare, relationships or running a household, we are constantly juggling our day-to-day responsibilities. A comment we often hear in therapy sessions is: “There aren’t enough hours in the day!” And sadly, a day is fixed at 24 hours so if you can’t add time on, it’s time to consider what you could take out. Do you really need to bring work home or could it wait? Does the house need to be 100% clean or the garden 100% tidy? How can we give ourselves that flexibility to make more time for us?
List: Ways to Make Me Time
1. Challenge unhelpful thinking. It isn’t selfish to want to take some time for you. Every so often your car needs a service and you do too. Prioritising time for yourself increases your self-worth and helps you to unwind and recharge.
2. What do I enjoy? Make a list of hobbies or interests. It could be things you used to do or things you’d like to try. If you know what you want to do it might give you that extra push to make the time.
3. Move It! Exercise is great for your mental health and well-being. Could you make regular time for exercise and take time that way? If not, how about walking to work? Even taking ten minutes from your lunchtime for a walk around the block will help you to get fresh air and clear your head.
4. Learn how to say no. Do you find yourself giving too much to others and getting very little back? If you’re giving lifts or going to events or doing extra work, could anyone else do it? It’s ok to say you’re busy – it doesn’t mean you’re letting anyone down or that they won’t like you.
5. Ask for help. How much of your day is taken up with things other people could be doing? Is there anyone around who could help you at work or around the home? You might tell yourself you don’t want to burden people but they won’t know you need help unless you speak out.
6. Give and take. If it’s difficult to make time for yourself in your relationship, could you both have a couple of hours to do your own thing? Encourage your partner to spend time with their friends or on their interests to balance things up.
7. Grab what you can. It’s amazing how many opportunities present them for a bit of ‘I time’. Try having your lunch outside or just take 10 minutes out to read a book or magazine.
8. Do something! If you’ve made the time then be proactive, don’t just sit in front of the TV. Do something for yourself that will help you to feel refreshed.
9. Do nothing! Alternatively, have you ever tried a mindfulness meditation? What would it be like to actually just be alone with your thoughts?
About the author:
Alliance Psychological Services Ltd’s team of professional, fully-qualified and experienced physhcological therapists provide people with an integrated approach to suit their needs.
Services include:
- NHS adult psychological therapies;
- Workforce well-being services;
- Support for for children, young people and families;
- Trauma response;
- Supervision and consultation;
- Private services